How to get your kids to listen

Kids do not tune out because they are bad. They tune out because of how, when, and how often we say things. A few shifts get you heard without raising your voice.

Connect before you correct

Get down to their level, make eye contact, and get their attention before the instruction. A command shouted across the room rarely lands.

Say it once, clearly and briefly

Long lectures lose kids fast. Give one short, specific instruction.

"Shoes on, please. We leave in five minutes." Not a three-minute speech about responsibility.

Offer a little control

Kids resist being ordered. A choice within your limit gets cooperation.

"Do you want to brush teeth before or after pajamas?"

Stay calm and follow through

Yelling teaches them to wait until you yell. Calm words plus consistent follow-through teach them you mean what you say the first time.

Notice the listening

When they do listen, say so. Kids repeat what gets attention, so catch them getting it right.